wtf?

stop being perverted. i'm really quite tired of it >_>

i started posting on a forum that was about torrents. i was already very proficient in torrents but this website was fun and new. for those of you not proficient with the term "torrents", torrents are the fastest possible way to download anything on the internet because you share the speed of all the users you connect to. everyone gives a little, everyone takes a little and you end up with maxed out speeds. faster the direct download from servers, faster than limewire, faster than kazaa,etc.

the best thing about torrents is you can get any type of media including,but not limited to: e-books,movies,music,video,applications,linux distros,etc at the maximum possible speeds your internet plan provides.

another advantage is unlike limewire, not only are most torrents,cept the dead ones,almost instantaneous, but you get to see what files you download so the chances you're going to get a viruses are slim/none as long as you stick with movies and music.; applications are always risky.

what's the downside with torrents?

the bad thing about torrents is:

they need an incredible level of customization on your part

*if you have a router, to get MAX SPEEDS, you have to forward your ports on a router. which is a b!!!!!!!!!!!tch but it isn't necessary

i've spent at least 8-9 hours making it and i still have more to add

well whatever for those of you who want the safest,fastest, easiest way to download from the internet you can read my FAQ or you can ask me directly by responding to this LJ, sending me a message via myspace or,if i'm on,aim.

so i've been thinking about some stuff and i realized a lot

at a point i thought i loved someone. i thought it so much i believed it for a long time. recently, i thought about what we really had and the truth is we really didn't have anything. it was like a "Romeo and Juliette" type of relationship. everything had ended just as fast as it started and i think truthfully the both of us just wanted to feel loved. in the long run, the question i have to ask myself would it have really worked out? truth is i don't know. i highly doubt it though. everything was too complex. there was just way too many problems for the both of us and nothing we could do about them. truthfully, we never got the time to really know each other and i suppose that worked to our advantage. additionally, she's not capable of seeing the faults in herself as well. it was just "my fault" I'm the "asshole" who just used her. it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that at the time she had a boyfriend who she was living with and would have sex with on a daily basis. when i would think about the situation i would remember that one song tiffany had on her myspace "tisbury lane" and the lyric "...she knows she's part of the problem too". apparently, i am incapable of having feelings for another human being. she told me once that if she didn't think she'd be able to handle it if she found out i was with someone else. it's been 8 months now and i she's moved on quite a while ago. as for me i think i might be ready to start over too. i'll know when the time is right.

I'm also completely going to stop talking to my ex best friend. while before i told myself that i would i let the amount of care i had for her make me answer her phone calls. no more. i'm tired of her BS too. if she likes me now it's far too late. it's been two years already. we've both grown and changed. and i,at least, have changed for the better.

it's been two years since august 9th 2005. when everything started. i swear i saw her today, for the first time since i dropped out of school, on the metro. i panicked, got off, waited a while, got back on and went about my business. that is something i'll ALWAYS feel bad for and i know there's nothing i can do about it. entropy. if only i had known about it two years ago.

My 105 Truths-
1. real name- brian gonzalez
2. like it- it's ok. i've always wished my names was james though
3. single or taken- single
4. zodiac sign-gemini
5. male or female- male
6. elementary- budlong
7. middle- Paul john muir
8. high school- manual arts
9. eye color- brown
10. hair color- dark brown
15. are you a health freak- sometimes
16. height- 5"3
17. do you have a crush on someone-not really
18. do you like yourself-i used to
19. piercings-0
20. tattoos- 0
21. righty or lefty- righty

FIRSTS-
22. first surgery- none.
23. first piercings- none
24. first best friendS- uh probably ryan,jason,and kawaan at age 5. don't really keep up with them anymore though
25. first award- no clue
26. first sport- again no clue
27. first pet- porky(dog)
28. first vacation- mexico(?)
30. first crush- tanya rico(i was 5 at the time)

CURRENTLY-
49. eating- just finished some mcdonalds
50. drinking- coke soon
51. im about to- drink some soda because i'm thirsty
52. listening to- hurt by johnny cash
53. waiting for- movies
54. wearing- black pants

FUTURE-
55. want kids- at first i wasn't sure but if i met the right person sure
56. want to get married- no i doubt it
67. careers in mind- either work in marketing or become a lawyer. either way i'm going to hell :]

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX-
68. lips or eyes- both
69. hugging or kissing- both
70. shorter or taller- both
71. tan skinned or light- both
72. romantic or spontaneous- spontaneous
73. dark or light hair- both
74. muscular or normal- normal
75. hook-up or relationship- relationship
76. similar to you or different- both
77. trouble maker or hesitant- trouble maker
HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger - think so
79. drank bubbles- nah
80. broken a bone- nah
81. climbed up a tree- ya
82. broken someones heart- yes
83. turned someone down- no
85. liked a friend as more than a friend- yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN-
86. yourself- yes.
87. miracles- they happen
88. love at first sight- no
89. Santa Clause- yup ^_^

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY-
92. Is there 1 or more people you want to be with right now-yeah
93. who is it- lol not saying :p

LASTS-
95. Text message- uh...::checks phone:: haha it was my sister. she sent me a text message saying"if you don't send this out to 10 friends you'll never find the love of your life" xD
96. Received call- 'twas kitty like two days ago
97. Call made-sister
98. Message on myspace-thought it was darryl but i got two new messages after i rechecked it. it ended up being chris
99. Missed Call-ham ham i think at EDC
100. Person you hung out with- no one since EDC xD
101. You hugged- dickey i think
102. You kissed-lol no clue
103. You talked to- jonathon
104. You slapped-lol no clue
105. Said I love you to- haha no clue

so i FINALY found the movie i was looking for. i went to amoeba and they had it haha. only one copy too. funny thing is they didn't have it on VHS, they only had it on DVD and from what borders told me the movie was never realeased on DVD xD i'll watch the movie when i come back from EDC

today is going to be my first year going to EDC. for the second year in a row i'm missing AX. i guess i could go but EDC is going to end up leaving me broke. i still wish i could get a cowboy bebop shirt again. oh well

once fall comes i've decided to try to cut off most of my time online. i might even look into giving my current computer to my sister,even though i may regret it like hell later. those who want to get into contact with me will have to call/text me. there's too much i want to do that i haven't been doing. i want to visit museums,read,go to parks,etc. and i see my computer as a crutch that's holding me back. hopefully this works out.

went to school today, registered for a program that may pay for some of my books. i'll find out if i'm eligible next week

called to check about my health insurance. i'm good till i'm 19. i'm going to try to make an appointment with a doctor and dentist sometime this week.

i've recently been obsessed with this movie. i can't find it anywhere though. called up a video store and they only had it on VHS. i'm going to go to the glendale galleria soon so while i'm there i'll see if they have it in the borders over there

i start school again in almost 3 weeks

so i've fucked up in school. pretty bad too. i ended up dropping easy classes a only sticking to the math. everything in the math class just went horribly bad and i drop the math class today. truth is the teacher was incredibly insane. and i'm a retard for actually enrolling in it because i knew he was insane from day one and i still deicded to take it. truth is everything's going way too fast. not that i can't handle it but i can only learn so much by reading a book that isn't incredibly thorough in the first place. while i can say that this past week i've probably learned more in math than i have probably accumalted in my life it still wasn't enough. i plan to take 125 again in fall.

so right now i'm not taking any classes. not only will i possibly have two W's(withdraw) but i may not be eligible for the calgrant from quite some time

i hope to take english for session 3 so i can be done with it before fall starts. session 3 starts in about 2 weeks. in that time i'll basically be going around asking people who's a good teacher and who's completely retarded and auditing classes

my fall schedule will consist of

english
math
pol sci
psychology
philosophy
and P.E

all of which are G.E's i'll have to make sure i'm not taking anything i don't need to be

lastly things really came ridiculously fucking fast. i'm almost certain things are so fucking dificult because i was persistent in beginning in summer session rather than in fall. big mistake. all these responsibilities have come out of nowhere and initially i'm not ready for them. i will either crash or burn; sink or swim. one thing is certain though: i have to make good fucking plans and do my research. if i don't, i'm fucked

after that i was just hanging out on my computer for the rest of the day and i proceeded to download a porn that i saw on showtime. it was softcore on showtime but apparently the version i'm getting is the uncut version so i'll check that out. the name of the porn is "Lord of the G-Strings: the fellowship of the string" pretty funny so i'll see how it is looking back on it a year later

the highlight of yesterday clearly was finding the name for this movie i've had an obsession with for quite some time. i have no clue how long. at least 3 months though. i posted some keywords on the "rottentomatoes.com" forums in march but had never checked to see if anyone responded. so i checked and someone did. i was liek WTF!?!? and they posted the name of the movie. so now my main priority is to rent it since apparently i can't find it anywhere.

yesterday my brother invited me to go to a club called "la boom" and i decided to go since i felt kind of bad about ditching him on the beach(he has to surrender himself to the county jail in about a week; yes he's a dumbass) this was my first time ever going to a club.

when i got there i got carded,showed them my ID, got searched went inside and it was pretty cool. huge as hell two. i was mainly kicking it with my brother for the majority of the night. i looked like absolute shit too. my brother asked a chick if she wanted to dance and he got rejected. i was going to ask this one hot chick if she wanted to dance(which is funny because i have no clue how to dance) but my brother opted that we leave so we walked around.

later he told me to ask some other chick if she wanted to dance so i asked some random chick and i got rejected. hurt my ego for a second but a second later all was good :] later i see the chick i wanted to dance with but she was dancing with some other guy so i decided not to ask her.

the rest of the night consisted of walking around. i generally go to sleep at about 11pm and it was 1am. i was dead tired. i finally saw that hot chick one last time and decided to ask her to dance. i said "would you liek to dance?" she responded in spanish. so i asked her in spanish. she said,in spanish, do you know how to dance? i responded with"uh..." and she said forget it and i left and she started dancing with some other guy. oh well. we got home around 2am and i knocked the fuck out.

yesterday: i REALLY needed to wash my clothes. i hadn't washed them for a while and i had completely went to like my last pair of pants(some jeans i bought a while back when i thought that ripped jeans looked cool till people just started looking at me like i was uber poor/uber gay/a combination of both so i stopped wearing them) and some gangsterish clothing my brother gave me that i'd rather not wear. i got home around 3, got on myspace, burned a DVD for my friend, sent one of my friends our pictures from the day i went to her house and then i left to go washing.

while i was washing my clothes at the laundromat i went to go get some food when i heard someone say"brian" i turned and saw someone who's name i could not remember. i faintly remembered his face. however even though i had nbo idea who he was i said "what's up dude!?" hi fived him; the usual business. asked him what he'd been up to. he said he dropped out of school. i said i did too. hi fived him when i said that. then i went to go get food and left. when i came back he was gone.

my backpack was killing my back because it was so heavy but i took it anyway and studied for only about 20 minutes sadly. the majority of the time went to folding my clothes. i decided not to go to my sister's graduation and study. she classed me a jerk when i called her and i told her the situation and she was cool with it

today:

so i woke up yesterday somewhere between 2-3am and my brain just could not stop thinking about math. it just kept calculating and calculating. i didn't go back to sleep from that point and i syayed awake till i got up at 6am. i would have stayed home if not for the refferrence my old english teacher made"in summer one day is like a week" and today was the last day anyway so i went. we took ANOTHER test today and i got 1 out of 3 problems correct. i learned the formula for doing the problem i got cvorrect while we were taking the test so that was cool. the other's i had no clue what he was talking about. it was chapter two,chapter 3 stufff which i haven't read yet.

after math class ended,10:40am, i went to go to a starbucks to study because i didnt' want to stay in the library. all this week i've been in the mood for pizza and the only pizza place i knew of i had already passed. i was already at sunset and vermont. i saw a sign that said pizza. the place it was in looked like a really fancy restaurant. i had like 20 bucks on me and i thought that a slice of pizza shouldn't be too expensive and i should have been able to afford it. i walked in. the restaurant was completely empty with the exception of 3 people at some table. i saw the reservation person and asked if i needed a reservation to sit there. he said no and he said "table for 1?" i said yes. i looked at the menu and the majority of the items were like $15+ xD i ended up getting a salad,which sucked, a soup,which sucked, and a coke,even that sucked! they also gave me some bread. i called my sister on my cell and the reservation person said"no cell phones in the restaurant" i was like "ok sorry" and he left in the end it ended up being like $13.50 for shitty soup,shitty salad,shitty coke, and decent bread. i gave a four$ tip to be nice and then i was broke. i was going to go home to get more cash but then i decided to go to the LACC library to study. i studied for about an hour and a half then took a walk around.

week tow of school

( Read more... )

so being that i still have no plans i still want to go to the L.A. zoo this saturday. the only reason i haven't made all the arrangements yet is because something might happen tomorrow and i don't want my plans to get in the way of it. i might end up hanging out with my old math teacher. haha i should tell him to take me to his moms house for dinner(he HATES going to his moms house LMAO and his mom invited me over so it would be a fun way to spend friday) but still i have no plans. worst case scenario L.A. zoo and that isn't so bad. i faintly remember going there when i was a kid. i think it would be nice to go back the day i'm technically leaving childhood. oh well all should be fun

so i got to school around 10:45am-11am it was pretty dead when i got there. after like to minutes of talking to the lady she told me i just need one more form,which i'm turning in tomorrow, and i'm all done with my summer fafsa.

school's this monday. i'm going to have to wake up at 6am and leave like by 7 to get there by 8am. i've recently started waking up earlier so it isn't so bad. i went from waking up like at to everyday to a couple of days last week waking up like at 7am today like i got up at 9am. i'll have to work on it and this first week of school will probably suck because of the sleeping schedule. i'll also have to watch my caffeine intake so i won't have issues sleeping. one of my friends told me to go to http://ratemyteacher.com and put my teachers names to see if they're any good or not. i doubt things will be that bad though ::shrugs::

i'm going to get into the habit of reading when i start school. i'll have about a two hour break period between classes so i'll get some lunch then hang out in the library. books i want to read/finish are:

crime and punishment
the te of piglet
9 stories
carpenters and seymore
the great gatsby
franny and zooey
1984
100 years of solitude
in cold blood
breakfast at tiffany's
to kill a mockingbird
the idiot

and whatever else i get recommendations to read.

hopefully i'll finish these 12 by the end of summer. i want to increase the amount of books i've read. seeing as i've only read about 5 novels in my lifetime

didn't do much today. i was supposed to go down to the the fafsa office to talk to them but my sister asked to wait till she gets home so she could look at the forms so i'm going tomorrow

i got a lot of games for my phone today. i installed about 30-50. 2 minutes ago i just played lumines for the first time on my phone. lumines fucking pwns. i have no idea how you loose though ::shrugs:: thanks phil for telling me about the site :D

for the second day in a row i woke up at 7. right now i'm finishing this 2 liter of coke that was in my fridge so idk if that's going to happen again tomorrow.

i totally forgot to call MTA and ask if my college ID got me a discounted pass so i'll do that tomorrow

i got my SECOND financial aid letter today. i filed one for 07-08 abd had no problems but i had to file one for this summer which falls into the 07-08 category. i have to go wait in the financial aid office again tomorrow.

so B day's in 10 days. i believe dickeys is in 7 days. and carys is almost 3 weeks away IIRC. if i don't hang out with anyone on my Bday or go to that bonfire, i want to go to the L.A. ZOO :]

so today i woke up with only four hours sleep. my only plans for today was to go to school and get my student ID and 4 month bus pass. i left my house around 1pm because i turned my PC off for about two hours so i could leave it downloading before i left.

i get to LACC and go to the office to get the ID. this one lady at the office is soooooooooooooooooooo fucking hot. she's fairly old,late 20's early 30's,but hot nonetheless. so she asked me for my ID and i told her that i left it in my wallet at home and she tells me to go to this one office. so i go there tell them the situation and they tell me to go inside and talk to the counselor. i wait like 20 minutes and the counselor comes. i tell him what happens and he asks me to tell him what happened with a very untrusting look on his face. i give him my social and my email and he gives the OK and the hot lady took my picture. after that's done i went to the office to get the bus pass and i found out the next time they're offering it is in fall...WTF!? meaning i'm going to have to pay either normal or reduced bus fair when i go there.

after that i go to the financial aid office and get a ticket. my ticket was 709. when i got there they were on 683 -_- i was waiting there for an hour. when i finally got there i asked her about the asterisk next to my student aid report and she told me that i didn't come up. she asked when i did it and she told me it wouldn't be in their system till wednesday at the earliest so i decided to go play a little while at FAC

i got 2$ in tokens. played a game of beatmania;a game of PIU; and two games using the samurai sword(i was fucking pissed because the sword was acting retarded and it didn't let me want to put in my name) then i played two games of the claw machine. i tried to win the bernstein bear,the mom,but i couldn't get it so i left to my moms house

i got to my moms house and told her about school and she was happy. i hadn't seen her in maybe a month so it was cool. i finally got another backpack today so that's cool because school's starting in a week.

i have much more info to find out about tomorrow. i'm WAY too fucking tired to do it now. and the offices are probably closed anyway

after changing it 3 times i finally have one that's pretty good. the first classes i chose contradicted each other and the second scedhule left me with a 7 hour gap. this is my current one:

anatomy everyday from 8am-11:15am session 2(jun11th-aug 14th)
English from 1pm-4pm session 1(jun11-july-14th)
and astronomy from 2pm-5pm session 3(july 16th-august 18th)

so all in all my overall gap for summer shall not exceed 2 hours and 45 minutes. which gives me plenty of time to eat food,play games, and read and study in the library while waiting for my next class.

in fall i should be taking:
math
english
cinema
political science
and possibly philosophy

after classes are over i'll be calling my friends who live around the area to see if they want to hang out :p

this is the beginning of something new and exciting. i'm happy : )

so yesterday my sister invited me to the arcade and i decided to go. one of my friends told me that he wanted me to forward his ports. god i fucking hate forwarding ports. probably the hardest thing to do that's related to PC's IMO. so i'm on his comp for like half an hour trying to figure out how the fuck to forward his router and when i'm finally able to get into his router his router won't accept the static IP. i'm like WTF!?!?!? so after a lot of tries somehow i get the router to get forwarded to his normal IP ::shrugs:: i honestly have no clue if i did it right

after that we went to the arcade. played the norm: DDR,PIU,ITG. however i also played games i normally don't play like the original beatmania. since i'm going to be going to the arcade MUCH MUCH more than i have been in that past 2-3 years, i'm going to start playing more games. i want to get the high score on the samurai game as well as learn how to play third strike. i played some claw machine and won like 3 toys. (spent like 8$ on it though xD) i won a "mucha lucha" toy for my friend because he one up'd me and it made me mad. he was happy that i won it for him though so that made me happy :]

after i spent all my money i went out with my friends to talk outside. we were talking about whatever but it was cool. my friend who works for the MTA was saying how daypasses are going to be 8$ in 2009. i litterally wtf'd good thing i'll be in college by then

after talking my friend took my sister and i home. i got home around 3am and i was on the comp for maybe 10 min then i knocked out. i woke up at 6 in the morning today too. almost 7am i can't remember the last time i've woken up this early either

today i should get my school ID and either apply and wait in the mail for or recieve my bus pass so that should be cool

so i just got into a big argument with my dad and my sister over me having my own room. as unimaginable as it appears to my father, him yelling at me everyday has been taking it's toll. my argument was i'm about to start school soon so i should get my own room. he went off at me about all of this shit. truth is i'm too fucking tired of his and my brothers shit. truth is my dad psychologically fucked up everyone in this family excluding my sister and i seeing as we didn't live with him for the majority of our lives. i'm just fed up and i think it would work out well. and if it doesn't whatever i tried. i moved my computer in my room so no one would fuck with me. for some reason my father finds it shocking that i lock my room door. i don't like room doors unlocked; i don't like people sneaking up behind me. my sister was very hesitant towards letting me sleep in my nephews empty room(he doesn't sleep in it and seldom even enters it). he has his domain,the living room, and i'd have mine. my sister created all these hypothetical situations of why me living in the room would be an issue. her arguments were fairly factual. meaning i'm going to have to change quite a bit to live in this room but it can be done. another thing is i'm currently waking my dad up at night every night to use the comp and it makes me feel like shit when i do. specifically what he said yesterday "you have to understand son, i work all day and all i want to do is sleep" it made me feel quite bad and i want to leave him at peace. i don't mind having my computer in my room or the living room. the issue was with my brother who would badger me when i had it in the living room. examples of badger are:docking me in the kidneys,sneaking up behind me,etc. i'm just like dude leave me the fuck alone. now that the computer's in the room, the issue is my father badgering me. either way someone's going to fuck with me as long as i'm living in this house. makes me want to get a degree in radiology just so i can get the fuck out of here as fast as possible. currently i can't move in the room in question because me dads remodeling the house so i should move in there somewhere within the next two weeks two a month. oh well, i'll update on how everything goes later.

so i helped my old teahcer move some stuff of his yesterday. i said i'd do it for free but he wouldn't let me. i'm glad i didn't lol. i'm so fucking sore. my back hurts like hell we only actually moved for like 5 hours. everything was pretty easy except for the couch. this couch was the couch to rule all couches. a huge motherfuck. the both of us were ONLY JUST able to carry it. after we put it in his u-haul we both just started laughing our asses off and giving each other props. we went to his house and dropped all of the shit off(which was only about 20 min) and then we went to his moms house and took the couch there. finally after that he took me home and i gots paid :D i said to call me and i'd help him if i don't feel too much like shit